Karen's Secret Diary
by pvc
Summary: Let's sneak into Karen's room and read her take on the village's events. Depends on Haven from the Storm
1. 28 Winter to 30 Winter

For all you Karen lovers, a look at her thoughts as Mineral Village enters a time of stress and strain. The diary runs in parallel with and depends on _A Haven from the Storm_.  
  
This is a 'high risk' fanfic. It's very dangerous for a guy to try to get into a woman's mind - even a fictitious one! If I foul this one up badly - well, I was just joking! Honest!  
  
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Karen's Diary  
  
Chapter 1  
  
28 Winter  
  
morning - I can't wait for this winter to end. A storm came through last night and dumped another half-meter of snow on us. Now it's way below zero outside. Far too cold to go out unless you've got to - or if you're crazy. I'm not *that* crazy. Damn, I'm trapped in here - now I'll be pacing the house the whole day driving Mom and Dad insane. Won't see Rick or Mary or any of the girls. I bet only Zack'll come in here today. Nothing keeps him shut in.  
  
When it starts, winter is kinda nice. When the first snow comes, I go out to the square and dance in it - I squint just right and the flakes look like snow fairies dancing along with me. After we've had a few storms and it's piled up past my waist, it's just disgusting.  
  
noon - A big mistake telling Mom I was bored. She got me in the kitchen for another cooking lesson. Three hours and two boxes of flour - wasted! It was muffins this time; well, they were supposed to be. They look like rocks to me, except they don't make rocks that black. Why doesn't Mom just give up on me and cooking like Ann did years ago?  
  
Now, I'm just sitting behind the register counting the coins for the tenth time. Dad's off in the corner sketching - dogs today, I think. Come onnnn spring!  
  
afternoon - Zack came in for a couple of rice-balls and he paid cash! Said the old man at Erehwon farm had a wicked cold this morning. Zack tried to get him to go to bed, but he just laughed him off. Said cold weather kills the germs. He's gotta be over eighty-five, but he's tougher than me. I'm thinking about going over there later and checking on him. Gives me an excuse to force myself to go out. If Mom makes some soup, I'll take some. Then I can drop in on Rick after.  
  
later afternoon - Laughing thinking about Rick cooped up with Popuri all day. Talk about maniac, I'm calm compared to that girl on a shut-in day! He'll want to see me just to get away from her WHINING :-) :-) :-)  
  
night - Oh, God no - the old man is dead! Zack found him in the snow just now. I can't write anymore. I just want to go to bed and cry.  
  
29 Winter  
  
morning - Thomas came over to tell us what happened. Zack found him all blue in the snow, carried him into his house and ran for Doctor. Doctor and Elli ran back with him but they were too late. I'm still weepy this morning; I loved him like he was my own grandfather. Is it my fault he's dead? If I'd gone out there before Zack like I was thinking, I might have got him some help in time. I get sick just thinking about it.  
  
afternoon - I was over at the Inn at noon. Hoping that Doug would give me a break and sell me a drink or two before opening time. He did. He, Duke and Thomas were on the phone the whole time I was there. They were trying to find a next of kin. The farmer had one son who left the village when he was a teen, but they think he's dead now. When I left, they were calling government offices in Capitol City seeing if the son had any kids. Thomas sorta kinda remembers a grandson but knows nothing about him.  
  
evening - I went to church after dinner. The casket is already laid out before the altar. Carter said it'll be strictly closed casket as his face is so blue and it'd disturb people. He's right. I wouldn't want that to be my last memory of him. We prayed together a bit and I had to go back home because I afraid I was going to start crying again.  
  
midnight - Spent a *lot* of time at the Inn. With Rick this time. We were drinking together and remembering the old guy. He treated Rick's dad like a son after the real one ran away and Rick loved him too. We were remembering how we played in his fields together when we were little. That's how we started, all those years ago. Memories, memories...   
  
He walked me home after and we stopped and snuggled a little - I really needed it. He was telling me how he knew he loved me when we were kids and it's only gotten better since. He can be *so* sensitive and considerate when there's trouble. Why can't he be like that other times?  
  
I'd better not get into that after all I drank!  
  
30 Winter  
  
morning - Ugh! How much *did* I drink last night? I feel like warmed over cow pie. I just looked in the mirror and I look worse than that. Ugh!  
  
noon - Back from the library. Talked with Mary a long time about Rick and the old farmer. She says Thomas found the grandson yesterday afternoon. He lives in Liberty City doing something with rockets. Thomas sent him a letter asking him to come here for the funeral. He was in such a hurry to get it on the boat that he got the date wrong! I don't know why Thomas didn't just call him on the phone. He can get so flakey sometimes.  
  
Mary's in a strange state. I didn't think she was that close to the old guy, but she kept asking me questions about what Erehwon was like when I was little. She looked all dreamy and not quite there. I suppose she's just getting ideas for another book, but it was still weird. I left her a moment to look at the supermarket ads and the horoscope in the paper. When I went back to her desk, she was staring into space with this *really strange* smile on her face. I don't think she even noticed when I left. Oh well, I like her so much because she *is* a little off center - she's sure never boring!  
  
I wonder what kind of person the grandson is. I've never met anyone from Liberty City. That place has always sounded like a sewer to me. I don't know how anyone can live there.  
  
afternoon - Working the register again while Mom and Dad go to church. Thomas came in and said that if anyone didn't want to go to Mother's Hill for the New Years' dawn, he'd understand. He doesn't think too many people will have the heart for it. He's thinking of canceling the dance in the square tomorrow night also. Makes sense to me. I sure don't feel like dancing. I'll join the old-timers and get toxic this time.  
  
I asked when the funeral would be. He said when the grandson gets here - if. But he can't put it off past the 2nd.   
  
Then freaking Duke came in, grabs *four* loaves of bread and struts right out with that "put it on my tab" garbage. If I wasn't still hungover, I'd have gone for his fat throat. My head hurts too much to listen to myself shouting. If I go to the Inn tonight, I'll squeeze it out of him there.  
  
evening - I'm *not* going to the Inn tonight. I'm *not* going to get stinking drunk again tonight. *not* *not* *not* tonight!!!  
  
I'm actually going to bed at a reasonable hour. To hell with the New Year. What's so happy about it? 


	2. 1 Spring

OK, so some people don't think this effort is garbage :-) We'll go ahead.  
  
Hmfan 2.0 - 'preciate you sticking through my stories, especially through my dry spells.  
  
Farmer Jen - If you need a reference for your college applications, drop me a line, I'll be glad to help out. ;-)  
  
Ksim3000 - more thanks to a dedicated reviewer. You're one of the Karen fans I'm trying to appease here without taking Haven somewhere unplanned. :-)  
  
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Karen's Diary  
  
Chapter 2  
  
1 Spring  
  
morning - It's New Year's Day, the first day of Spring. Tra-la-la and all that stuff. At least I'm not hungover. Then again, I feel so low that it wouldn't have mattered. Why not greet a bad day with a bad head - I should have gone to the Inn last night after all.  
  
I hope that city guy gets here today so we can get the funeral over with. I hate thinking of that dear old man lying in the middle of the church. Let's get him decently buried. We'll know at ten, when the Princess arrives. Why didn't that fool Thomas at least give him the phone number at the Inn so he could tell us if and when he's coming. I hate this uncertainty.  
  
Dad's was antsy about finances at breakfast. I can't blame him for worrying. Last time I reconciled the books, we were over 25,000G in the red and it can only have gotten worse since. His stomach's really bad today. He was saying that if Erehwon won't be bringing in money anymore, the village will go broke. Period. End of story. I asked who could take it over and he just shrugged. He said nobody here knows how to farm on that scale except Rick and Barley, and they're working up to their limits right now. I could have said that Rick's working past his limit, but I got his point.  
  
late morning - The church bell is ringing, so the grandson must have come and the funeral is on. I'll put on the full-length black dress and...no, I won't be ready. I'll never be ready for this. God, give me strength to get through the next couple of hours.  
  
evening - How can so much change in just a few hours? Let me do this slowly and get it right for once.   
  
The funeral was...moving. Everyone was there except Ellen and Lillia and I'm sure they'd have come if they could have. Carter handled the ceremony perfectly - that man knows how to combine simplicity and grace. "Eighty-five years of loving this village is the best preparation for living in heaven." Just perfect.   
  
The grandson was sitting in front with Thomas. After the ceremony, he joined the pallbearers in carrying him out and placing him in the earth. That was a touch of class. He didn't have to do that. He's about my age, maybe a little younger. I was expecting him to be much older. You know, it's funny how the mind plays tricks on you. I couldn't really tell you what he looks like. It's his eyes that drew all my attention. They looked lost and shattered. They're deep blue - bet they're real pretty when he's happy. Afterwards, I spoke to him in my turn, along with the others. I don't think he really noticed any of us. I can't blame him.  
  
Then it got really interesting. Thomas sent him off to Erehwon and brought the rest of us to the Inn for an emergency town meeting. He went over the facts of how the village couldn't survive without the income from Erehwon. Then he popped the surprise - he wanted to give the farm to the grandson! He reminded us that they're the oldest family in the village and Jack (that's his name) was a direct descendent of the founder and had a right to it. Zack had ridden the Princess with him this morning and had talked with him - told us that he was unemployed and free. He'd been working on that Mars shot that just went off, and as soon as the spaceship left, they fired him. That's really cold - those city people have no loyalty to each other at all.  
  
Well you know everyone had an opinion! At first, I'd say about three-quarters of the people were against it. It was "his father ran away", "he's never lived here", "what does a rocket scientist know about farming" until it was coming out of our ears. Thomas had to shout for order with both Doug and Duke joining in before they quieted down.  
  
Thomas was as mad as I've ever seen him. He was banging the table and shouting back at the objectors. "He's *not* responsible for what his father did! He's 23, bright, and healthy; he can learn how to farm. And he damn well *has* lived here - he spent a whole summer at Erehwon when he was seven." Did he? I don't remember it. Few others did, either.  
  
Mom and Dad both spoke up about how the store was in trouble anyways and we'd go under if we lost that farm. I backed them up on it. Some of the stuffy old-timers don't even want you to speak at a meeting until you're over 30, but everyone knows I keep the books at the store, so they didn't give me any static. Gotz and Saibara had the same story. Then when *both* Doug and Duke talked about hard times coming, the room got pretty quiet.  
  
Carter and Basil started going into this mystical stuff about how the Harvest Goddess won't let anyone outside of the old man's family work that farm. They were impressing the old-timers, but not me. I stopped believing fairy stories when I was 10.  
  
By this time, most people were sorta going along with the idea. Manna was still griping about his father running away. She was so insistent about it, I wonder if he was running away from her. (meow) She got off that old line about 'the apple not falling far from the tree', then Saibara shut her right up with 'the father sure fell far from the grandfather, right?' That's Saibara - he doesn't say much, but when he does, he really makes you stop and think.  
  
Duke was wondering if we should keep looking for another relative to bring in. He was saying, 'What if we give him the farm and he turns out to be a screw-up. We can't take it back!' I thought that was going to open the meeting back up, but Doug saved it by proposing that we let him stay for a trial period, then give him the farm after if he does all right. Most everyone thought that was a grand idea. Duke wasn't too happy but said he could live with it. He proposed a two-year trial. Then Rick spoke up (I *love* him!) saying he knew a little about Erehwon and nobody could get it back up in two years. He proposed four. Thomas then said we'd split the difference and make it three. He went around the room and nobody objected and he called the meeting over.  
  
He was about to go tell Jack our decision, when he turned around and said: "Of course, we're all assuming he'll take it. What if he doesn't want the farm, what are we going to do then? Think about it!" That got us quiet and thoughtful as we left.  
  
I'm *so* proud of Rick. He was brave enough to speak up *and* he made a difference. I'm going to be real sweet to that boy later on :-)  
  
Wow, I'm actually proud of what I just wrote. I've been writing a couple of pages a week of boring personal stuff - now I've done three pages in one day and it's something important about the village. I remember Dad when he was teaching me history telling me that they didn't keep records at the Constitutional Convention. All we know about it is from people who kept diaries.  
  
I'm a historian now :-) :-) :-)  
  
later evening - Jack agreed to work the farm! Thomas said he didn't even stop to think about it. Just came right out with this speech about how the idea of hard times coming to the village was hateful to him and he'd give us his best. Well, I heard this from Dad. Thomas and Jack came by the store - he was giving him the 2G tour of the village - but I was in my room writing the last entry and missed them.  
  
Writing about events makes you miss them? I don't want to be a historian anymore.  
  
But what if Duke is right and he is a screw-up? What *is* his best?  
  
much later evening - I'm so proud of myself again - I went into the Inn to celebrate New Years (yes, Thomas cancelled the dance) and only had *two* drinks. Yes, I'm *not* *not* *not* an alky!!! Everyone was pretty subdued from the funeral and the meeting. I got Rick all cute and blushing when I told him he was the best speaker there. Mr. Big Man in the Village and I took the long way home - smooching under the cherry blossoms, mmm mmm mmm.  
  
Two nights in a row back home before midnight and sober no less (well, just a little tipsy.) I'm going to make a habit of this. Oh, yeah - make it a New Year's resolution.  
  
Right. 


	3. 2 Spring

Thank you reviewers, one and all for encouraging me in this little experiment.  
  
We'll try to get this up to where Haven is now, then keep them in sync afterwards.  
  
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Karen's Diary  
  
Chapter 3  
  
2 Spring  
  
morning - Well, floating on Cloud 9 with my dear Richard last night was too good to last. The mail today brought me back down to the ground hard. There was a beautiful New Years' greeting (sarcasm sarcasm) from the dry goods wholesaler. Simple and direct - either we pay them the 4700G we owe them by Friday, or not only won't they sell to us on credit anymore, they won't sell to us period. No more cloth and paper products at the store, unless we pay 20% more for trashy goods to one of those crooked outfits in Liberty City. And they'll all want gold on the nail. You know that Mom just went ballistic when she read it. She's been at Dad all morning to get some of our 'problem children' to pay down their bills. When I left, he was just sitting at the table clutching his stomach and saying nothing. He'd rather have his teeth pulled without painkiller than actually ask someone to pay what they owe us.   
  
We *can* net 4700G in a week. If everyone would just pay cash this one week, we could make it. A practical reason to miss the old guy at Erehwon; he'd be in today to stock up on spring seeds and he *always* paid cash.  
  
I think I might just go and do a little bill collecting myself this week - starting with our number one deadbeat. I'm not going to mention his name, but his initials are D-U-K-E. Yeah, that's who to start with. He's old school enough so that he doesn't know how to deal with a loud obnoxious woman, especially a young and pretty one like (ahem) yours truly. Get him softened up with a little creative abuse and then threaten to tell Manna what his tab is now. He knows she'd then take up where I left off. He'll cough up then. Yeah, a little blackmail sounds like just the right way to handle that guy.  
  
noon - I was really tired of all the trouble at the store, so I went up to the hot springs hill to do a little dance practice. First, talked with Rick by the mailbox like every morning and it's not worth writing about. It's like the last two nights of sweetness never happened, he was back to grumping about the same old garbage. I didn't want to hear anymore, so I just told him, "Enough already, good bye!" and left. Passing by Erehwon was amazing - the place is completely overgrown with weeds, boulders and stumps. Now how the hell did that happen, it looked so orderly last fall. Jack was nowhere to be seen. If he had been working in the fields, it would've been easy to miss him among all that junk. Or he could have been just goofing off somewhere.   
  
I ran into Ann and Popuri coming down from the hill. They were giggling like maniacs, saying that Jack must be a loony. They said that when they passed by the farm earlier, he was screaming at the fields. Well, if I had to clear them, I guess I'd be screaming with frustration also.  
  
Ah, it felt so good to forget about balances and accounts receivable for awhile. I had the hill all to myself, so I started off practicing for the Goddess festival. Didn't have to do much as I've got that dance down cold. I should; I've done it seven times before. Thinking of having to do it an eighth time rather than join the married couples watching did not improve my mood *at all.* Rick and his "let's wait a little while longer until mom is better and the farm is under control!" I worked out my frustrations (and my leg muscle kinks) with some interpretive free style. It's been a long time since I dreamed of going off to dance school and *really* learning how to do this, but it was all coming back to me this morning. Shouldn't the dreams of a fifteen year-old seem silly when you're 24? They sure seem attractive today!  
  
Back home now. Gotta grab lunch quick because Mom's just about finished washing the clothes and it's going to be a Mom and daughter heart-to-heart while ironing afternoon.  
  
early evening - Oh, my, my, my! If first impressions are lasting, I just *know* that Jack is going to be all right in my book. I am *very* impressed with that earnest young man. Let me write this down in order - as the town's unofficial historian should (yes, today I want to be one again.)  
  
Mom and I had started in on the ironing after lunch when the parade of moochers started. Doctor led off with Dad not even objecting to the "I'll take care of it later" routine. We heard it all from the kitchen but Mom went into the store too late to catch him. So Dad caught it from her instead. Just great; she's been snapping at him all day, so soon he'll reach his limit and start talking back. Then they'll go back and forth for awhile until they decide to make up. I just want to die of embarrassment when they do that billing and cooing act of theirs right in front of me!  
  
I was really working the creases of one of Dad's white shirts when Duke came in. I was rushing to finish so I could go out and gently give him my opinion of his behavior, when I heard a voice I didn't recognize telling him that he should pay for what he took! Well, that got my attention, so I dropped everything and went into the store.  
  
When I went in, there was Jack looking him right in the eye with this really serious look. Duke was laughing in his face telling him, "it's OK with Jeff, so don't concern yourself." It was *not* OK with me, however, and I went right up to him and blessed him out until he not only paid for today, but the last few days also. Poor Jack, he was standing there staring at my performance with his eyes about to bug out of his head. Duke slinked out the door muttering something about Jack -I knew all along he didn't have the nerve to stand up to me.  
  
Well, after that, I just had to go up to Jack, introduce myself and thank him. He's not a bad looking guy. Maybe ten centimeters taller than me, sorta average build, pale like you'd expect from someone whose been working indoors, and shaggy brown hair that was having trouble deciding which way to go (sticking out from under a really silly looking baseball cap.) He was wearing some overalls that would have made him look like a real farmer if they hadn't been so new. Once I turned on the charm with him, he got this really amusing (and totally sweet) combination of an earnest expression and a half-smile on his face. And, yes, those blue eyes of his are very, very nice indeed when he's not at a funeral trying hard not to cry. They twinkle at you even when the rest of his face is saying 'serious business here.'  
  
Just for fun, I did a few pirouettes in front of him, and darn if he doesn't start praising me like I was the lead at the National Ballet. Keep going, boy, flattery *will* get you somewhere. So I let him know that his presence at the Goddess Festival would be greatly appreciated, and I'm glad I did as he didn't realize he could come and dance with us lovely ladies (cough.) With Gray (*if* he'll come) and now him, we'll almost have enough guys to go around this year.  
  
We were hitting it off pretty well, so I figured I'd find out his sign. A Libra (Fall 8, and he's 23;) now why am I not surprised there? Yes, Aquarian Mary! Leonine Ann - maybe yes, maybe no. So sorry, Cancerian Popuri! I thought he'd get a laugh at my expense there, being a techie, but darn if he didn't say that he'd studied the stars in college. Sometimes I find out I don't really know that much about the outside world at all - I thought you learned astrology from wizards who live in caves on the mountaintops or something like that.  
  
I still had a lot of ironing to do, so I excused myself reminding him to show up at the festival. I threw in a little advertisement for Mary there too. She could use a guy being nice to her other than that depressing Gray whose started hanging around her too much. I hope he's as mature as he seems and can see behind a plain face and that please-don't-notice-me pose of hers to see what a wonderful person she is. After I went back, I heard him buying some seeds and plunking coins down on the counter. Oh, yes - this new guy is *just fine.*  
  
Got back to it with Mom - she heard the whole thing and was all smiles the rest of the afternoon. 'One swallow a spring does not make," she pointed out, but Jack seems to be off to a good start. Now, we just have to see if he can learn to farm. Our mood got even better when Dad closed up and counted out nearly 2000G from the register. We keep that up for the rest of the week and Friday's settlement with the wholesaler will be a pleasant piece of business.  
  
So, let's total up the Jack account.   
  
Credits:  
  
1) He defended my Dad against Duke (but was he really brave there or just too ignorant to know to be scared of him?)  
  
2) He's got good taste - he appreciates my dancing and singing.  
  
3) He certainly acts mature and respectful, and seems very bright (well, he *is* a rocket scientist.)  
  
4) That sweet smile and those way too cute blue eyes.  
  
5) He didn't laugh or call me a superstitious donkey when I asked what his sign was.  
  
6) He paid cash for what he bought.  
  
Debits:  
  
1) He seems a little wishy-washy. Could be he's just sizing up people before he takes a stand on them - just what you'd expect out of a Libra.  
  
2) He's out of shape. He could use to lose five kilos and get a little darker. A few weeks in the fields should put that right.  
  
3) He should lose that stupid cap of his. And why does he wear it backwards? I thought only kiddies and defectives did that.  
  
Mom's right - he's off to a good start but he's got a lot of work ahead before he's proven himself. Remember how excited we were when Gray first came here, and how he didn't even try to fit into life here?  
  
We'll just have to see what Jack is made of.  
  
But what the hell *is* my moon sign? Maybe he can tell me.  
  
late evening - Thought about going to the Inn but since I'm halfway on the wagon, didn't see the point. When Rick's grumpy in the morning, he's usually all grown in on himself when drinking in the evening. I'd just match him glass for glass and grunt for grunt and I'd be back to being just as sloppy as last winter in no time. I'm going to limit myself to two nights a week. If Rick wants to see me other evenings, he knows where to find me.  
  
I'll take another of those long brooding walks on the beach. Looking on the horizon for that enchanted isle where life is perfect even if I know there's no such thing. Popuri's still innocent enough to think that there's an ideal life waiting for her outside the village, but I know you carry your own problems with you wherever you go. 


End file.
